Am I Ready?

As I prepare for the arrival of our little darling Piper, I think...am I ready for 2 kids? I am ready in the sense that I know that we will be adding to our daily routine, we will take longer leaving the house, getting ready, we will be extra busy every day, etc.  I understand that and I am fully prepared for that.  I feel comfortable watching more than one baby (I nannied for 2 toddlers for a long time between both of my Nanny jobs).  But am I ready, emotionally, for the addition of a sibling for Lucy?  I never really thought about how she'd feel until pregnancy became really real.  Until we named Piper and started physically preparing for her arrival. Until I held Lucy in my arms and felt Piper kicking away inside of me simultaneously.  I am going to have 2 babies who will need my constant love and attention, and am I going to be able to give them all of me at the same time?  How is that possible?  How can I keep Lucy feeling happy and loved when I have to split my time with her?  She won't be my only baby anymore.  

Lucy is not the most independent kid; she NEEDS me.  She wants me or Shawn to be holding her most of the time.  She wants us in the same room as her all day.  She follows me around everywhere I go.  She clings to me when I introduce her to new people.  She is my world, and I am hers.  How do I pay that much attention to her, while also paying attention to the new baby, and not upsetting Lucy over it?  She won't understand that the new baby has to be held more than her.  She won't know that when I'm nursing Piper, I have to sit on the couch and focus on her, not on Lucy.  She won't understand why all of the sudden Mommy can't spend all my time with her; will she think I just don't want to?  That thought breaks my heart.  I know I will love Piper just as much as Lucy.  Every Mom assures me of that.  Every Mom tells me that my love will be multiplied, not divided.  But Lucy might not understand that.  Will she still know that she is my everything?  That she is my little princess whom I love more than anything or anyone?  Will she feel left out?  I just don't know how to handle that.  I don't want her to EVER feel second best.  Or to feel like she isn't as important to me now that her little sister is here.  I want both my daughters to know, without a shadow of a doubt, just how much I love them and how devoted I am to them, equally.  How do I handle this?  

My sister Tiffany told me that it's completely normal to worry about these things, as she did with her kids as well.  So that is comforting.  And I know that lots of Mom's in the world have multiple children, so it's not as if this is anything new.  But I just don't want Lucy to feel any sadness- any sadness caused by me and my lack of attention towards her.  She is now going to have to get used to the fact that Mommy has another person to look after, and I hope that she adjusts quickly without any issues.  But as I mentioned before, she isn't the most independent baby so it will most likely be hard on her for a few weeks.  

I guess as I sit here and type all of this, I know that there is nothing I can do about it.  There's no way to prepare a young toddler for the arrival of a sibling- we just have to figure it out and climb that mountain when we get there. I just worry....Am I ready for it all?

Piper and me in the upper corner, Lucy and I in the rest of them :) This is what I hope she holds onto.... Knowing that I adore her and love her with all of my heart and soul.

Shawn is such a good Daddy :)

Notice the bell bottoms?  Haha it's our love child ;)

Climbing through tunnels while pregnant is exhausting!

I love you Lucy.  More than all the leaves on all the trees.  Never, EVER forget that.

My blue eyed Angel Face :)