You are Beautiful

Dear Lucy and Piper,

This is a letter from Mommy to my two beautiful daughters.  Maybe someday I'll have another little girl to add to this letter, but until she gets here it's written specifically for you, Lucy and Piper.  I have been pondering ways to express my thoughts on this subject for quite some time now. I don't know of any other way than to write you a letter that I hope someday you REALLY take to heart. It is long. Because the words I'm about to write can't be summarized in a few short sentences for them to really sink in.  So take a breath, find a comfortable place to sit, and read what I have to say.

I want you to know how beautiful you are.  I NEED you to understand this. I know I tell you you're pretty every day, but I want you to REALLY know. I want you to feel beautiful every single day of your lives. I want you to see yourself the way I see you, the way Daddy sees you.  I know someday you will grow up and the world might not be as kind to you because they might define beauty differently than we do.  But they are wrong. Being a girl can be tough. Beauty is so many things, and you 2 special girls perfectly embrace it all.  Your laugh is beautiful.  Your crooked smiles are beautiful.  Your hair, whether thick or thin, long or short, dark or light- it is beautiful.  The sounds of your voice; your giggles- perfection. Your skin, whether it is tan or pale, your hands, your feet, the shape of your lips, your eyes- you are perfectly formed.  You are unique- and what is more special than that?  Everyone has imperfections and that is what makes a lady stand out in a good way!  

I am so afraid that you will grow up and lose your feeling of self-worth or lose your perfect, unwavering confidence.  It will tarnish your soul if you can't see what I see in you every single day of your life.  I don't want you to hear the harsh words of the world telling you to inject your face because you have wrinkles. I'm so tired of this "youth-obsessed" world we live in! Wrinkles are gorgeous because of the wonderful stories behind them.  Wrinkles are the laugh lines that prove you've lead a happy life. Wrinkles are Mother Nature's Way of showing the world that you are REAL and proud and living in the moment. Wrinkles are the proof that you've overcome struggles and came out stronger because of them.  I don't want you to listen to the celebrities tell you that permanently changing every natural curve and shape on your body will bring you happiness.  Because your bodies were created by me.  You have traits and similarities passed down from Daddy and Mommy and placed in your body to make you.  You were created out of love and you are more beautiful with your "imperfections" than you could ever be after you're tucked and tightened....YOU ARE PERFECT.   

I can't tell a lie and say that I haven't wished I didn't have crows feet, a flatter stomach, slender arms, or thinner thighs. But then I stop myself and remember that these "things" are there because I am living my life.  Most of my newer "curves" are the result of having babies. And where would I be without YOU??  You two little princesses make me happier than having a taut tummy any day!  I have also gotten myself into some not-so-fun situations where I cared too much about my weight.  Before I had daughters, I wanted to look different.  And was I happy?  Absolutely not.  It is no fun to be so consumed with how you look.  If outer "beauty" is all you care about from the moment you get out of bed in the morning to the hour you lay your head on your pillow at night, you cannot be truly happy. And I admit that I have gone through times in my life where I have been vain and only cared about the newest pair of Fall boots more than anything else.  I needed to have the newest purse and be 15 pounds skinnier so that I could fit into the slimmest cut of the newest style of jeans.  The world told me I wasn't good enough unless I did more to my body than it was naturally capable of.  And that isn't a good feeling.  We all want to be accepted and if everyone had the confidence of a child, we WOULD all accept each other no matter if someone wore a size 2 or size 18 jean.  

I promise you, you don't need to listen to that.  You just need to be you.  Once again, I can't sit here and tell you never to highlight your hair, never to wear makeup, never to pluck your eyebrows, never to go shopping for new and cute clothes. Because that would be extremely hypocritical of me because I do those things.  I love getting my hair and nails done.  I love a new outfit!  I love trying out new ways to wear make-up or braid my hair.  I love the way I feel after I get a good work out in.  But if all of that completely consumes you, I promise you, you will never feel complete and utter joy.  Without pure joy, your life would never be lived to the fullest.  

Make sure you let your hair get messy and don't bother doing your makeup when you don't feel like it.  Make sure you feel confident with a clean face and some laugh lines.  Make sure you are eating healthy and exercising to ensure you live a long life.  The more you exercise, the longer you will live.  Living longer means being able to see and enjoy more of the wonders of the world- if you keep that in mind, you will be happy.

Be confident because you ARE gorgeous.  Be happy because you ARE smart.  Be blissful because you know I am looking at you with complete adoration at your stunning, yet simple beauty.

As you grow up, learn to be strong and brave and courageous.  Because that is beautiful.  Be kind, gentle, selfless and giving.  Because that is beautiful.  Be bold and defend yourself when someone kicks you down.  Because that is beautiful.  Be silly, be playful and have a sense of humor.  Because that is beautiful.  Pray often and have strong faith.  Laugh and smile as much as possible.  SING and hum and hold a song in your heart.  Because that is beautiful.  Try your hardest and work as hard as you can- seeing the fruits of your labor is a great feeling.  Love yourself.  Because that is beautiful.  Be daring, be adventurous, be carefree (when it matters!). Because that is beautiful. Understand how important getting an education is. Celebrate Holidays and birthdays.  Hand write "Thank-you" cards.  Keep a journal. Be passionate about what and who you love.  Because that is beautiful.  Grow up and find a man who knows how beautiful you are and who honors, loves and respects you.  Marry him, laugh with him, love him and start a family with him.  Because that is beautiful.  Be spiritual, be moral, be respectful, be courteous.  Because that is beautiful. 

You came into this world a tiny, perfect little angel.  Smelling sweetly of Heaven and exuding a pure and perfect soul.  You brought Mommy and Daddy more happiness than we could have ever dreamed of or known existed. You were and still are just as incredible as on the days you were born.  You are and will ALWAYS be beautiful.

I found another Mom who is trying earnestly to make her daughter understand what real beauty is. I borrowed her words to use to show you girls.  I hope she doesn't mind.  Please read and soak it all in.  Because her knowledge is the secret that can bring you more happiness than living a life in vain. Please know your worth. And always remember who you are.

A Letter to my Daughter About Beauty

Dear Sunshine, 

Last week, you knocked your teeth out. You were doing your usual thing- being a daredevil, conquering the world with your balance bike on an extremely steep driveway with tons of uncoordinated gusto. 

After our visit to the dentist, I pulled out the camera and asked you to smile. You flashed me the biggest grin imaginable, so proud of yourself.

Then I broke into tears. It was a strange reaction, I know. I didn't cry because I was sad about your new smile (it is epic amounts of adorable), and not out of guilt for your injury (you are a force even the most attentive mother probably couldn't completely contain), but because of your beautiful, innocent confidence.

You see, you haven't let the world affect you yet, and it is so breathtakingly beautiful.  I wish I could bottle it up and hand out that confidence to the world. 

It can be hard being a girl in this silly world. People come in all different shapes, colors and sizes. The world is like a rainbow- so many different people to see. Beautiful people. But how would you feel if someone told you that the only good color in this rainbow was green? Wouldn't that be dumb? I like green, but a rainbow made of all green wouldn't be half as awesome as one with all the colors.

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Sometimes, people tell other people that they are only beautiful or important if they look a certain way. 

In China, they use to think that small feet were pretty. I don't know why. Big feet are awesome for helping us swim fast and for balance, but somewhere along the way, someone decided little feet were the best... and everyone started believing them. 

So many people started believing, that they even began breaking their feet to make them look smaller. Isn't that Silly?!

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I don't know about you, but I'm glad I have feet that I can run and jump with. My feet take me places- they aren't something I spend too much time looking at. I think I'd fall over with those silly, painful small feet.

In other parts of the world, they do all kinds of interesting things for the sake of what is considered beautiful:

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They stretch their lips and put plates in them

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And in other places they stretch their necks with rings.

It may seem strange to us, but we didn't grow up in those places. It's hard for us to understand.

 It  can be more difficult for us to see some of the things that we do when we are immersed in it. Here are just a few examples of what people where we live may do for the sake of beauty:

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Some people paint their faces with makeup

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Others wear swimsuits that would be hard to swim in, because they think it makes them look pretty. I bet the high heels would make it hard to run and play in the sand, too.

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People even make silly faces because they think it's pretty

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Other people put lots of things on their body.

Isabell Caro: French model and anti-anorexia crusader, died at age 28

Some people even start to think that their body has to be a certain shape or weight, and make themselves sick trying to look that way.

Not all of these things are bad. It can be fun to be artistic and creative with our appearance. I like putting on some red lipstick when I'm feeling fancy. But, somewhere along the line, a lot of people started to believe that the best way to express themselves was through how their body looked on the outside.  But Sunshine,  true beauty is much too powerful to ever let anyone put it into a small, defined box. True beauty is deep. It is contagious. It is how a person makes you feel in their presence. It is inspiring.

Aimee Mullins, paralympian athlete
It is someone who has the strength and determination to do what some might say is impossible.

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It is compassion. 

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It is seeing another person's need, and trying your best to fill it. 

Stephanie and Christian Nielson- Plane crash survivors

It is love that conquers all. Love that grows deeper with trials. 

Beauty is sharing laughter 

Sally Ride: First American woman in space)

It's reaching for the stars. It's not ever letting anybody tell you that you can't achieve something. 

Rosa Parks

It's having the courage to stand your ground 

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and honoring those who have paved your way with their example. 

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It is knowing that even the smallest among us have something to teach us, knowing that every soul is priceless. 

Beauty is wearing your Superman jammies with pride because you know that being girly is so much more than just pink and princesses.

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Beauty comes in so many shapes and sizes and colors 

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True beauty gets better with age 

Mommy when she was pregnant with you (Photo by Kim Barlow)
Beauty is creating something so much bigger than yourself... and loving yourself through all of your body's changes 

Beauty is proudly smiling through broken teeth and a fat lip because you know how awesome you are, knowing you are tough, knowing that you will get back on your bike and try again.

 So, the next time someone tells you that you are beautiful, take it as a compliment, because you know what true beauty is. 

Love,

Mom
(blog credit: Rory Jean)

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Moms out there- let's stand in solidarity with each other and take a stand to show our daughters what true beauty is.  Actions speak louder than words.  LEAD BY EXAMPLE. Let your imperfections shine through.  Be happy, and you will be beautiful.

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others.  For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness.  And for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."

-Audrey Hepburn

Lucy Barbara and Piper Everly- Mommy loves you more than all the leaves on all the trees.

Thank you for showing me what true beauty is.

Love always and forever,

Mommy

I have posted some pictures of the most BEAUTIFUL times in my life since marrying your Daddy.  Here are a plethora of pictures of our tight-knit foursome from the past 3 1/2 years.  I am so blessed to have a handsome husband who supports me in everything I do and two gorgeous, happy, healthy daughters who have brought all the beauty in the world into my heart.