Let's All Just TRY To Relax....

I posted this on Facebook earlier today even though I knew it would upset some people. I think that half the people who commented on it were offended, but a lot of women totally understood me and agreed with me whole-heartedly.  Either way, I wanted it in my blog books so I'm posting it here as well :) I wasn't meaning to step on anyone's toes.  I just wanted this put out there in the Universe because I think the world is a bit crazy.  Anyway, here's my take on life these days....

"OK, this is LONG and I’m about to get real personal here which is always intimidating but here I go… I was scrolling through my newsfeed last night after my girls were in bed and I can’t even tell you how many pictures I saw of green smoothies and girls in their sports bras doing before and after’s and clean eating recipes and people talking about how amazing the results are from their current workouts etc. etc. etc.… You get the point… and the thing that bothered me is I had just had a really fun night with my daughters that would make a crazy dieter/workout fanatic cringe. We watched a Disney movie and ate Twizzlers and caramels and buttery popcorn and painted our nails and laughed a lot and had what I felt was the most perfect night. And then later I scrolled through social media and I saw all of these people who are completely obsessed with fitness and claim they are “being their best self” and pointing fingers saying “obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.” And I got really fed up! You guys, THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN CLEAN EATING AND WORKING OUT! I promise!!! And you might be looking at me thinking “oh, she’s just someone who let herself go, of course she’s saying that.” But you know what? I WAS one of the obsessed, years ago, before it became acceptable in our society to be obsessed with working out and eating clean. Between the ages of 16-26, I was hard-core obsessed. I never took a break from working out. It was ALL I thought about. I almost never skipped a day. I would kill myself just to make sure I got my workout in even if I was dead-tired.  I looked good, but was I as happy as I am now? Nope. It wasn’t until I had my second daughter that I was able to slow down, really look at how I was living my life and realize I had it all backwards. I’d look down at my beautiful, plump, gorgeous baby daughters and think... man, I need to change how I live because this is NOT who I want them to become. Since I am not a naturally thin person I had to choose between killing myself just so I would like how I looked, or letting go a little and feeling a deeper sense of happiness.

When you can finally see your faults, you can finally work through them. I didn’t even know I was obsessed, even though a few people told me I was. I didn’t recognize how dangerous that mindset actually is. As cliche as this sounds, it was a journey of self-discovery.

I can tell you that last night, not worrying about what we were eating and not thinking “oh, I’ll have to run for hours tomorrow to make up for this” is WAY more satisfying than killing yourself to look good. I have been on BOTH sides of this so I know from personal experience. You can tell me you feel great when you make spinach “cookies” and green smoothies and have less body fat than you did 2 years ago. But I’ve been there. If it’s all you think about, then it’s actually not healthy because no matter what you say, it’s not healthy for your mind to care more about that kind of stuff than actually living. Having a healthy mind is the most important thing.

And, ok, I think running marathons and doing triathlons and all that is AWESOME and I applaud those people. I come from a really active family and we have so much fun together when we hike, or play basketball or go on bike rides or whatever. I know working out a few days a week just to keep yourself healthy and limber is vital to living a long life. I go to a gym. I like certain workouts a lot (especially outdoor workouts). This is NOT a workout shaming post. It’s just a post to point out that being OBSESSED is not healthy. There is waaaay more to life. Sometimes I’d rather eat an ice cream cone with my beautiful kids on a hot summer day than make sure I get a good workout in and THAT’S OK. Because life is all about balance. And if you can’t just enjoy it without feeling guilty (and mentally planning your next workout because you ate a brownie {or being the type that won’t even touch brownies}) then I think there’s a problem.

I’m not claiming to be perfect and have it all figured out (because I don’t). And, lets be honest- I wish I were 15 pounds lighter. Ok-20😜. And I have days where I feel insecure (don’t we all!?) But right now, I’m busy raising little kids and I’m trying hard to make sure I don’t give my daughter’s insecurities about their bodies. I want them to enjoy their childhood and not hear me stressing about my weight. I don’t want them to see me taking before and after pictures because I don’t want them to see me obsess over something like that. All that will do is put negative thoughts in their heads. Someday, when my kids don’t need me every waking minute of every single day I might be able to shed some pounds and dedicate more time in the gym. But I won’t ever let myself become obsessed again and make working out a higher priority than spending quality time with my husband and kids. It’s not a fun place to be. Society makes it seem acceptable because it’s ALL around us (thanks social media), but I promise, there is SO much more to life. 

You just have to find that out for yourself to believe me."