My Sweet Boy

Oh, how I love my boy.  He truly is my everything! My heart bursts at the seams just holding him and snuggling him and I just thought that maybe I should jot some of these things down before I forget.   It happens quickly.  Too quickly.  I had to skim through both of my girls baby books a couple of weeks ago just so that I could remember certain things about their "babyhood" stage, because I've already forgotten so much.  Re-reading the passages made my heart swell and smile at the sweet memories.  I only was able to recall these times because of the notes I had written and it reminded me to write a little note about Sullivan.  He is 5 months old and 18.6 pounds and needs to be written about!

My sweet, sweet Sullivan.  How can I even BEGIN to explain how much I love him?  I am his favorite person in the whole wide world, and right now, he is mine as well.  When I walk into his field of vision his entire face lights up as though it's the first time he's seen me in weeks.  Even if it's only been minutes.  He smiles so incredibly big at me every single time.  And then he gets hyper and starts squealing and wiggling all around.  He's grab his toes or starts flapping his arms.  He just can't contain his excitement.  Talk about a boost to my self-esteem :) 

His chub is so delicious! He is rolly-polly and so soft and squishy.  I could just squish him all day.  His thighs! Oh my heavens. I just want to bury my face in them!  His wrist and ankle rolls are becoming white in the creases as his cute little body gets a gorgeous golden tan.  

He is a water baby! He LOVES the pool.  And I am grateful because it is so incredibly HOT here and we need that pool to survive!  We go almost every single day and he is happy as can be in that water.  Half the time he will take a nap in his floaty.  It's great!  

His tiny hands still curl around my finger when he sleeps.  Every night before I go to bed I go and kiss all 3 of my babies.  And with Sully, I'll slip my finger into his hand and wait for it to happen.  That delicate little squeeze he gives me.  It won't last much longer so I make sure to do it every night until it stops.  But I love it.  Sometimes I cry because I love it so much.  I just sit there staring at him sleeping with all of his chubby fingers holding my finger and I can't walk away because there's no greater feeling in the world to hold hands with your baby as he sleeps... Sometimes he still smiles in his sleep and my heart just melts watching him dream.

He loves his voice.  He is squealing and screaming and squawking all the live long day.

He is rolling from front to back.  He loves to eat his toes.  He is sitting up all alone!  He has figured out how to bounce in his bounce chair and his Johnny Jumper and loves it!  He loves to be in his swing in our backyard.  He loves to snuggle with me in the mornings.  Sometimes if I can't get him to sleep in, I'll just press his face up against mine and he will eventually fall asleep.  He sleeps in his own crib until about 5 am.  Then he wakes for milk and I bring him into our bed to nurse him while we both sleep a couple more hours.  I did that with all my babies.  I can't commit to full-time co-sleeping (I would absolutely love that, really.  But I know the repercussions are not something I want to deal with down the road) so I make a rule that we don't co-sleep during the night.  But in the wee hours of the morning, he's mine, all mine.  Snuggled up against me.  His soft breath on my skin.  His baby scent filling the air.  His sweet, soft skin like silk in my arms.... I just love him fiercely.  

He loves to slow dance with me.  He presses his cheek against mine and we dance in the living room. I hold him and we sway to the lullabies that I sing him.  He's my last baby.  I can't help but smother him a bit.  

I've been trying really hard to make sure the girls feel my love for them as well.  I don't want them to feel second best, or like I stopped loving them when Sullivan came.  It's hard, admittedly, to show all 3 of them attention and love at the same time.  So I do the best I can, but mostly I have to take turns with them.  I'll give the girls some Mommy time, and then when they're not around I give my all to Sully.  It's only fair.....

Anyway, I could go on and on and on about Sullivan.  He loves bath time.  He loves his bunny and glo-worm still to sleep with.  We almost never get him dressed unless we go out; he's in a diaper all day everyday- even sleeps in just a diaper- it's too hot for clothes.  He LOVES his rice cereal and is a great eater- both nursing and from a bottle.  He almost always falls asleep in the car.  He's so curious about everything.  He is holding rattles and tries so hard to pick up tiny little objects but can't quite figure that one out yet.  He rakes his fingers across every surface.  He pinches and it HURTS!  He gets distracted at almost everything these days; craning his neck to look at where he heard a noise from.  Turning around to see who walked in the room.  Leaning forward in his car seat to stare at his sisters next to him.   He is so curious and engaged and alert and happy.  He is SUCH a happy baby.  Yes, he loves to be held and a lot of times is NOT happy with me when I can't hold him. But since he's been able to play more, he's content for periods of time in his jumper, saucer, and just on the floor with toys around him.  He LOVES TV.  Really.  He will stare at the screen.  He gets that from his Daddy, haha!

He's the light of my life and my darling everything.  I just wanted to remember some of these things.... :) I love my Sullivan. 

Thank you for filling my heart with everything I never knew it needed, sweet boy!